So, yesterday morning it was clear and cool, with just a hint of autumn in the air. It was just enough hint to make you think autumn could be near but not clear enough to forget that it is still August and summer. As I drove north near Lewisburg, I looked to my right only to see the most clear shot of Mt. Jefferson I had seen all summer. The peak stood towering high above the mountains below and looked as if it had been outlined with a black marker. Each jagged point was individually visible, and all from just a few glances while driving. It was mesmerizing and I wished I had more time to stop and take in the view.

Because of the beauty I was seeing and the fact that I kept glancing to the right, I took the next road to head directly east. I just had to see more. As I turned to face the rising sun, I was not only faced with the clear picture of Mt. Jefferson but a distant glimpse of Mt. Hood and two of the Three Sisters. What a glorious sight! This just made my morning very special and I smiled. There was no way I could capture this moment in photo or describe it to anyone and I realized then that this was a special moment for me, made by God. He sure is amazing and breath-taking. But I’m not done yet.

The day before I had seen one hot air balloon rising above Albany and that gave me a smile. So, as I turned to face east, I looked more to the south, only to see 6 or 7 hot air balloons rising in the sky. Wow! That was an amazing picture. I could not imagine the sights those people on the balloons were seeing. What a beautiful late summer morning! Thank you to my amazing God!

I was reminded of his absence from several messages I received yesterday expressing words of comfort for our loss. I say our loss but I don’t always feel it’s right to say I’m a part of “our” when I only knew him for 3 years. But it is my loss because a part of my husband died 2 short years ago.

I don’t know what to say to my family so I say nothing. I just don’t think there are words to express my feelings or make them feel better. I wish someone would give me the perfect book on how to make someone feel better who is missing a loved one who has passed away. What do I say? How do I act? I don’t want to ignore their feelings or act like it’s nothing. I know they are feeling something very deep, very personal and very sad. It’s something I know little about and it scares me.

Other than my father-in-law, the closest person to me that I have experienced passing away was my grandmother but I was 13. I remember crying and singing “Amazing Grace” at her memorial, and then driving to Newport to spread her ashes in the ocean. I remember missing her and how sad my mom was. But I don’t think I miss her everyday like I know my husband misses his father. That’s what scares me; the thought of my heart breaking and aching if someone close to me should die. I can’t imagine my life without my mom - who would I talk to when I was upset or needed advice? What if my sister died - who would I do silly things with and laugh about childhood memories with? I don’t even want to talk about losing my husband…

Life is so precious. Relationships are treasures. I hope and pray that when we get to heaven those relationships we’ve made here are something we can continue for eternity.

So, all my hard work is about to pay off and it feels good. My load is lighter and I can begin to think of others things to fill my time, like all of those projects on the backburner - what did I tell you, I’m a planner.

Today as I climbed the steep, windy hill, I admired the view of the valley below. Sometimes I take for granted or actually feel punished to have to drive so far. But in reality, if I stop to take in what I am traveling through, it’s worth it. Springtime is especially eye-catching, as I pass lambs, calves, daffodils, and flowering trees everywhere. Not having to keep the windshield wipers on constantly is a blessing.
Today I realized how beautiful the area is when I turned a corner to find a towering, white Mt. Hood in front of me. Portlanders really are lucky to have such a magnificent mountain right out their backdoor, not to mention Mt. St. Helens and Mt. Adams (I think). Those mountains are amazing! If I am lucky I can catch a glimpse of Mt. Jefferson on my morning commute to Salem but not always. Mt. Jefferson is so much further away it seem. Right here in Portland, Mt. Hood is practically starring you in the face. It’s amazing I must say.

My job keeps me busy. I have a few projects that are my responsibility and they tend to drain my time. This is one of the only jobs I’ve had where I really enjoy working. To me researching and investigating laws and regulations is fun, not work. It does take a certain personality and I have it. I love to coordinate projects too.

So, here’s to a busy 2010! I told my husband that if he can endure me for six more months of stress that things will be okay after that. I’ll post again in August. Just joking.

The book I purchased is family photo archive project book. It included a CD
for working with photos and creating an electronic version of a scrapbook or family tree. The book gives ideas on how to locate family history and records.

So, this will be my new project when I have time. I’ve always wanted to go back and scan in old family photos and research the people in the images. One of my relatives recently scanned in some old photos of my grandfather and great-grandfather. It was so amazing to me to see the resemblance to my family members. I wanted to know all about those people. I don’t want family history to be forgotten. I am amazed at the traditions and family history of many other cultures, like the oral history of the Native Americans. Their culture is so rich. It must be so wonderful to know where your family came from and the stories of each family member.

So my goal is to do what I can to capture the family history and stories I know. I may not be able to go back as far as I want but I can start with my life. If I am able to capture my memories of childhood and what I experience it will be a start. I would to do more but we will see.

So, a few weeks ago my husband and I decided to look into joining a health club. I found that one of the local clubs had classes, Zumba included. I was sold, not to mention the amazing gym and swimming pools.

So, I knew I wanted to take the Zumba class but wasn’t sure when I would initially go. I told my sister about Zumba. She went out and found a class, attending right away. She had so much fun that she attended the next day too. She said I had to go.

So, Saturday morning I woke up, had a small cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal, and headed to the gym. The class I wanted to attend was “Intro to Zumba.” There were about 6-7 other people there. Our instructor turned on the up-beat music and began to show us th various dances included in Zumba. We did salsa, hip hop and several African-flavored dances, which I can’t remember the name of now. It was a lot of fun - so much fun that I decided to stay for the complete Zumba class starting just after the intro class ended.

The dance class is such a good workout. I found myself out of breath several times. But when the song ends, we had a chance to catch our breath and get a drink of water. It was just enough break, making the class more interval training than straight aerobics. It was very challenging and not repetitive or boring at all. Each song used a different dance or routine.

It was a lot of fun too. Dancing is a feel-good activity. It helps that I was surrounded by smiling people who were acting just as goofy as me. It was a great day. I can’t wait to go back.

Getting back to my Feature Writer position, I have not wanted to let go of my title as NW U.S./Alaska Travel Feature Writer for the longest time, although I have known I can’t keep up. So, I sent my editor a message saying I need a 6-month break if that’s possible. I told her that if she had someone else in mind that perhaps they should be the new Feature Writer. I will still be able to contribute to Suite101.com but with less responsibility. It makes me sad to think I have to give this up.

Yet, it makes me proud that I was able to give something up. I am a busy person. I’m working full-time, at a new position with more responsibility that ever. I am a full-time graduate student with a large “thesis” project to complete this year. I’m a wife and a home-owner. And the list goes on and on. Something had to give.

I love to write and this doesn’t mean I’m not going to be able to write. It just means that there’s less stress when it comes to meeting deadlines. It’s a tough thing for me when writing becomes more of a responsibility and less of something I love to just do. Perhaps this will give me more license to write about other areas and not just NW travel. I’ve enjoyed writing the two articles for Brass magazine on health care and finance. Perhaps I will look to writing more articles on health care.

This is a great time of transition for me. I’ve finally found a job that I truly enjoy and that fits my personality and character. I want to give it all I can. So, giving up my free-lance writing position is one thing that has to go for now. I’m going to move towards my goals in my healthcare career right now. I have the whole rest of my life to be a writer!