My Adventures in Writing

Yesterday I attended a wonderful wedding, a public declaration of love. But it wasn’t just the couple in love that touched me, it was the love of the families supporting the couple. Everyone pulled together to make it work.

I never realized how much work a wedding takes. Of course my own was a lot of work but to see a wedding from behind the scenes was eye-opening. Everyone pitched in without an excuse, working together to pull it off. I was more than willing to offer my help, because I had been so thankful for everyone that helped at my wedding. It was great to see a need and fill it or to have a solution for someone needing a decision made.

The love shown between the bride and her parents was so authentic. As she danced with her father, I watched the expression of their love. The wedding party gave sincere toasts to the bride and groom, their friends. It was so touching to see real expressions of love, especially with today’s troubles. It was refreshing to see such a loving family.

My garden loves the summer when the sun is warm. It’s not as fond of the hot heat but it sure likes those warm days. I can almost see it grow right before my eyes. The tomatoes turn from pale green to bright orange in what seems like just a day. There are new flower each day, ready to become the next fruit.

The one plant that I have been watching for months is my lone sunflower. It survived the trample of the dog’s feet and has even gone without water for a few weeks. You see, it’s at the very edge of the garden where the garlic has already been harvested. Before it was very tall, it was easy to miss. But now, it towers above me, at least six feet tall. It now faces the east, and the rising sun.

This week the sunflower has begun to open, showing me it’s burgundy color. It’s so beautiful. I am in awe because it is so different than the usual yellow sunflower. It’s so dark and has so much character. I am excited to see that there are other flowers waiting to open. I am thrilled with this one flower of my garden.

I can still imagine the sand between my toes and feel the movement of the waves if I close my eyes. The glow of my tan skin makes me do a double-take every so often, thinking wow, am I really that tan? The cool breeze tonight feels so different compared to the slight but necessary breeze of the Caribbean. Here the feel of the wind almost feels like cheating - it is so drastic. In Mexico, the sweltering heat and humidity made the slight stirring of the air seem like a knight in shinning armor. The slightest movement made all the difference, even if only brief. Without the breeze, it was almost unbearable. When stepping out of the air conditioned room, sweat came almost immediately, paired with an instant thought of, where’s the closest water we can jump in? The walk to the beach took us passed several sparkling swimming pools. They were like mirages as we aimed for the sea.

Once we stepped into the salty, turquoise water, there was no turning back. Like a still-warm bath, the water was inviting, with the mesmerizing roll of the waves. We floated and bobbed, chatting and laughing. Some of the best conversations were had while in waves. The view from the water gave us a different perspective than from shore, as we inconspicuously watched the sun bathers, sandcastle builders, volleyball players and beachcombers.

The snorkeling gave an even diverse perspective, as the world under the water came alive to us. Blue, yellow, and purple flashed before us as the fish darted by. They seemed to be having just as much fun as we were, moving with the motion of the waves. From above, this world was invisible. Yet once it was seen, it was not forgotten. The coral, fish, skates and other creatures came to mind each time I stepped into the water.

Back from vacation, the pictures we took have been downloaded and shared. Looking at each one is like a peek back in time. The sights, sounds and smells come to mind and it’s like I’m there. Will this last? I want to capture it all and not forget one moment.

This summer term has been hard. It’s not that I have a lot of classes but one very difficult one. It’s a class prepping us for the completion of our capstone projects over the next year. We have to complete a proposal, and a very lengthy, thorough one at that. It’s been very time-consuming and stressful for me. I really want to get it perfect and know exactly what I will be doing over the next year. But a project is a process and really takes some work.

Our last class is in two weeks and I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It helps that my husband and I leave for Cancun the evening of my last class. Celebrating life, stress-less life with my family in a tropical paradise is very exciting. Having this to look forward to at the end of the term has helped. Soon I will be a normal person again. But wait, isn’t normal a relative term?

I love the summer, when you can’t remember the last time you wore socks, or shoes for that matter.  Sandals are so easy to wear - just slip them on and go! I love the sound of sprinklers watering lawns in the evening or the fan. I love the wind through the car windows and my hair flying wildly about. I love how carefree it feels just sitting outside watching it get dark and cool. I love the smell of the garden, the fragrant tomato plants and garlic. There is so much abundance as fruit ripens and vegetables abound. What a time of hope and joy!

I really enjoy my drive to work. How many other commuters can say that? I get the pleasure of driving country back-roads on my journey to work. There is hardly ever any traffic. Yes, it may take me 45 minutes to an hour in travel time but it is well spent enjoying the sights and scenes around me.

This morning was especially beautiful. The bright morning sun made everything cheery. The waterdroplets glistened in the sunshine, and made the plants look so refreshed. It was beautiful.

I also get the pleasure of watching the seasons go by. I’ve only commuted for a couple of months so my feelings for this might change as autumn and winter arrive. However, I do enjoy watching the crops grow. It’s amazing how fast some of them transform from tiny seedlings to fields of corn or wheat or strawberries. I am amazed at the variety of food that is grown. It is so beautiful and makes me proud of Oregon. Keep Oregon Green, I say!

What is wrong with me? I seem to be in this funk that I just can’t get out of. All week now I have just felt like a different person. I can’t seem to figure out what it is or why it started. I should be really happy because I am splint free. And I was on Monday. I was in a great mood but then Monday night a big, gray cloud came over top of me and hasn’t left.

On Sunday, I decided to take off my splint, after taking a look at the LARGE medical bill from my orthopedist. I was so upset at how much they had charged, and really done nothing for me. I guess I am paying him for monitoring my broken finger? I just don’t see why a nurse practitioner or PA couldn’t have taken care of me. So, I decided to do my own rehabilitation. It’s been good so far, except yesterday when I tried to carry a large bag of garden soil. I shouldn’t have done that. I still wear my splint at night, at least for a week or so, because I don’t trust myself while I’m sleeping. I could really hurt myself.

It just feels like the world is against me. It feels like every path I’m trying to take leads to a dead-end. It makes me feel like quitting. For school, I have to submit a proposal for my Master’s project. I thought I had it all ready to go but then found out that what I wanted to study had already been done. So, it’s back to the drawing board.

I think a lot of it is just over-doing it. I am doing a lot! I have been through a lot, dealing with a broken finger and five weeks of not using my right hand. I guess it just got me off track. The hard part now is that I still can’t use my hand normally.

I’m sure something will get me back on track. I’ve been praying but just not hard enough I guess. God, can you hear me? Maybe I have too much of my own self-interest in mind… I don’t know.

Hopefully the next post will be something positive. Things will get better, right?

Tomorrow morning I get my (hopefully) last set of xrays on my right hand. Hopefully they will tell me I can take my splint off!

As I’ve lived life lately with one hand, my left one at that, I’ve realized a few things - some things aren’t that hard to do but others are extremely difficult and frustrating. Here’s my list for each category, some of which I found surprising:

Easiest Things to Do:
Eat with a Fork
Drive
Type notes in class
Water plants outside

Hardest Things to Do:
Get dressed
Remove staples from a stack of paper
Sign my name
Put on my seat belt
Walk a dog
Do any other yardwork besides watering plants
Wash my hair thoroughly and DO my hair (very frustrating!)

With that said, I am looking forward to being able to use my right hand again!

Ahh…my garden. Getting home from work on a warm spring day and touring my yard is a treat. Playing in my garden is even more fun. I love to watch everything grow. The peas are doing especially well right now.

Today as I was out in the yard, our dog did the funniest thing. As I cut the flowers from the garlic, the dog took one and began to throw it around. Then, he started to chew on it. He enjoyed it immensely, until he bit into the flower. Then he hacked and coughed in surprise. Finally the silly dog had to rub his nose around in the grass. He loves his yard, especially on mowing day. He is now a chartreuse green, but I’m not sure the pictures do it justice.

I can’t wait until I get my splint off so I can work in the yard.

Growing up, my sister and I had vivid imaginations, with creative playtimes. Once in awhile we would imagine we had only one arm or one leg and try to get around the house. Well, the past few weeks I’ve experienced what it’s really like to live using only one hand. I suffered a broken right ring finger a few weeks ago while I was walking my dog. With the leash wrapped around my hand, my dog was attacked and pinned down to the walkway. My dog finally wiggled free. I then noticed my numb hand and obviously crooked finger. My dog survived with a few bruises but I have to live with a splinted right hand.

It’s been frustrating to say the least. The main difficulty has been losing the ability to write. As a writer, this a especially hard. I can type fairly well one-handed but it’s not the same. I like to write things out on paper first but I haven’t been able to lately. Simple things like brushing my teeth or eating are also difficult.

It’s been hard for me to ask for help - that’s probably been the hardest.